Welcome to the Blog Carnival, I’m so glad you’re here! I’m anxious to read what everyone has written… I’m sure I’ll learn a lot (as usual).
If you’ve already written a post on ‘Trust’, please add your link below (if not, feel free to write one and add it later), have fun! There is no right or wrong on what you feel or write… ALL are welcome!
If you’d like to read my post on ‘Trust’, just scroll down past Mr. Linky…
One Word at a Time…’Trust’
As the kids are growing up, our conversations have become completely different. When they were little, they trusted what I told them was truth. They had no reason to doubt me, and the age old question ‘why’ was more of a word to say, rather than a question about what they’d been told.
Today, with a teen and a tween living in the house, there seems to be a lot more questions, accompanied by a lot of doubt.
A few days ago the kids were talking to me about ‘rules’. My son is sure that we’re the strictest parents that ever existed (the boy has no idea how easy he has it). He’s convinced we are way too paranoid, and insists his friends parents don’t inflict such terrible restrictions on their kids. I asked him what was so unreasonable about our rules and this is how it went:
Son: You don’t let me go hang out with friends if there aren’t any parents home.
Me: Many of your friends are girls, I don’t think that would be appropriate.
Son: That’s dumb. They are just ‘friends’ and they don’t have that rule.
Me: I’m sorry you feel that way, but there are too many situations that can present themselves when parents aren’t around, and I’m trying to protect you.
Son: That doesn’t make any sense… you just don’t want me to have any fun!
Me: Son, you really need to trust me…
Now daughter chimes in:
D: You probably aren’t going to let me go to the Halloween party.
Me: Will it be chaperoned?
D: Both parents will be home.
Me: Is it all girls or will there be boys?
D: I don’t know, MOM… probably both. (Not sure if you could ‘hear’ the SARCASM)
Me: I was just curious. If a parent is there it should be okay. We’ll have some rules and I want you to be really careful.
D: Careful of what????
Me: I want you to stay with your friends, and don’t let any boys get you too far from the group. I don’t want you alone with them, especially ones we don’t know.
D: Nothing’s going to happen…
Me: Sweetie, you really need to trust me…
This whole conversation really got me thinking. Isn’t this exactly what I do? If a situation arises and I’m not sure I like the ‘rules’, don’t I begin questioning them too?
Me: God, I really don’t think I can do that.
God: Trust me…
Me: But, it’s too hard!
God: Trust me…
Me: I really can’t handle this. I give up.
God: Don’t lose hope.
Me: But Lord…
God: My child… trust me!
Romans 15:13 May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.
I’ve been hurt and let down after trusting people in my life, but the one constant and unchanging fact is that God doesn’t disappoint! He’s always there and will never abandon us! 
I’ve dealt with many difficult situations and circumstances, and I guarantee there will be plenty more… but in each and every one of them, if I stop questioning and resisting for just a moment… I know I’ll hear the words…
Trust me…
{ 5 trackbacks }
{ 38 comments… read them below or add one }
I love your story! I wish my parents hadn’t trusted me quite so much! A lot of my hurts came from experiences that would never have happened if my parents had just been a little less trusting and had checked up on me more. (Not that I’m blaming them or that they were bad parents. I was a great little actress and had them quite convinced of my innocence and naivete.) I’m just sayin’ that I can see the consequences of not being as protective as you are…
Great job, Bridget!
I think the problem is when we start trusting the one’s we shouldn’t instead of the one’s we should. It is a real mess for teens.
I want to tell you something that I tell all the parents that take time to talk to me. Most of them are concerned about their student but also feel like they are invading their privacy or being over protective or something by coming to me.
I try to thank them for being so involved in their student’s life and encourage them to do everything they can to stay in their lives. I understand there is such a thing as smothering a child but the truth is I see a lot more neglect than smothering. Every study I have read shows that the parents are the single greatest influence on the lives of their children. Many parents begin to think that peers have more input in the actions of their children during the teen years, but repetition is key to that connection.
Be encouraged that you are doing the right thing even when your children feel otherwise.
My oldest complains at times that her parents (a cop and an ex-cop) are far too protective. We’ve seen the worst that can happen (done some of it), so yes, we’re protective. But we’ve made sure they have plenty of fun, we help host the fun, and the complaints seem to be minimal. I love that so many of our kids’ friends love coming to our house, and I say ‘no’ to hosting them only when I absolutely can’t.
I also encourage the kids to question us as long as it’s done respectfully. I want them to come to their own conclusions about trusting God. If they only do it because we say so, they’ll not have their own faith when they need it most. They need to wrestle with the questions–and the answers–so that they understand why they believe, and their faith will be indeed their own.
My parents were very protective. I am still not sure they were always right, but I know they always had my best interests at heart, and frankly, the world has gotten worse, not better, since I was a kid, and I am not sure at all how I can improve on their overprotective model.
oops…i posted the wrong post…booohoooo, now what do i do!
You are all set whenever you are ready! No big deal…
um…i mean i mr linkied the wrong post…yeah, i know what im doin! ugh.
I sometimes wish my parents had been more restrictive… but then I probably would have just disobeyed them anyway… I was pretty dumb like that.
If you saw the way I act out against God you’d probably think I still am – and you’d probably be right!
Great post, Bridget, and it looks like the carnival is off to a flying start!
Peter, thanks for laying the foundation for our blog carnivals…
Looks like you did a great job!
Great post, Bridget. I love especially your point that God is the one constant – the one who will never disappoint…ever. Thanks for hosting the carnival and a great topic. Can’t wait to read everyone’s entries!
Thanks for hosting the blog carnival. And, nice post, Bridget.
Enjoyed your post Bridget. My son is only two, but I know I’ll be having my share of those conversations!
I only pray I could be as good a parent as God is a father to us. It would be so much easier for my children to trust me if I weren’t such a knucklehead! Funny how our perspective changes when we become parents. I’m sure it will change even more when my little ones become teenagers. Great post, very true.
Those teen and tween years really challenged my ability to trust. The only redeeming factor is that is now my kids say “how did you know?” My instincts are pretty strong – have learned to place a little trust in them – just not too much.
Great post, Bridget! This blog carnival looks like a lot of fun. I’ve enjoyed the many posts I’ve read so far! Great job!
Hi,
Thanks for hosting the carnival – I joined the party for the first time.
Great post – I have three boys and they join your son in thinking I am too concerned about them and where they are.
I’ve been disappointed in God (hey if Jesus stilled the storm, why doesn’t he stop hurricanes/accidents/health issues now?) but have learned to live in the tension of trusting him, while having disappointments and questions.
Hi there! So happy that God led me here today….
Trust is something I struggle with….not that I do not *trust* that God has is all under control…but *control* being the key word here. I am such a control freak that it is such a battle to fully let go and turn it all over to Him. And it’s so ironic to me that I still struggle with this considering I know that I constantly screw things up when I do it “my way” all the time.
Great post!
Your line…”I’ve been hurt and let down after trusting people in my life, but the one constant and unchanging fact is that God doesn’t disappoint! He’s always there and will never abandon us! ” really resonates with me today.
I’ve loved and lost three best friends in 8 years. Two to betrayal and one to death. And I’m SO gunshy to make friends again as a result. I just know I’ll get hurt again. So I just don’t let people in. God and I are working on that. But you’re so right when you say God doesn’t disappoint. I’ve learned that He is my constant when nothing else is. Praise Him for that right?
Thanks so much for hosting this carnival. It’s so moving and funny and inspiring all wrapped together!
thanks bridget, for deleting my mr linkey that was wrong. i think i have it tied up right now. and thanks for taking us all to the carnival! i like your post on trust with children and with our God. it is really interesting how that “why” question when we are small grows into so many other questions. wow! 24 people going to the carnival so far! lots of fun reading
Excellent illustration & thanks for the blog carnival opportunity. I’m enjoying this!
“M” is currently in the “why” stages. It’s cute…but I don’t always know just how to answer her. All I have to say is that I am terrified for these older years to approach. I remember it being bad when I was in school. I know it is much worse now. Not sure it is something I am looking forward to. Why do our babies have to grow up? Trust is such a huge thing.
Wonderful site…. I love the Word Carnival. There are some good stories.
Thanks for doing this.
Thanks for stopping by!
Hi…I just visited your blog for the first time… I found it thru Steph at Red Clay Diaries. I enjoyed the challenge of writing a post relating to the word trust.
Loved reading here and I’ll definitely come back…enjoy your day.
Thank you for letting me know about this, Bridget
I’ve been so behind on blog reading (as we’re trying to TRUST that we’ll sell our house and have had six showings in five days — whew!)
I love your post. I’m praying now that I’ll TRUST God in those teen years. I’m sure it’s so difficult to navigate them trusting you and you trusting them and…yeah, I’m sure it’s a lot. Your perspective is inspiring, lady.
It seems like “you need to trust me” starts early and comes often…I’m not looking forward to the teenage years.
Oh, boy.
A friend of a teenage kids and I were just talking about this last night when we had a night “out”.
Teens always say parents don’t know any better, but when they get near trouble, your voice will be there. Speaking as a prior youth leader, know that they do respect you, even if it doesn’t sound like it, when you put down the rules.
I know as a parent, though, I am going to stress over every word they breathe back. So, I’ll be needing a friend to lean on.
I, too, have been hurt beyond recall by “friends”. It’s taken me time to heal, but I’ve found the path to healing has led me to love again.
Trusting God will be there for the fall has given me the confidence to love again and open up once more. Love is the answer. I really is.
Thanks for the blog carnival! Fun! Such good stuff.
Great post, Bridget! I’ve seen just a tiny bit of this with my tweens. I even considered taking this angle with my post. But as it turned out, God had other plans for MY writing. It is great to see my protective instincts validated.
Wow Bridget, I don’t know if I can finish reading all these in one week! But I intend to and thank you so much for hosting.
In the last 24 hours, I’ve made it to all 35 posts! I’m bleary-eyed, and I don’t know if I’ll attempt to hit every single carnival booth again, but I can say my life is richer for doing it this once.
My favorite line was from Susan at Just a Moment, from the post “Be Still.”
… you simply say “God” with a question mark …
He holds you in the palm of His hand and that one day … over time … the question mark will become an exclamation point … in the meantime …
be still.
I’m right there with you… bleary eyed and blessed!
Thanks to all of you who stopped by and joined the carnival, either by posting, reading and/or leaving comments.
I learned so much from each one of you today, and the encouragement and support has been such an enormous blessing!
I can’t wait to see what God has planned for us to ’share’ next…
Stumbled here in that way we bloggers can,
and I will have to look at these.
I have 5 children that trust me, and I am learning to trust them. It is so hard. And yet, that space of the trust, that can leave room for the grace. For the lesson. A specific example just occurred yesterday. My daughter is struggling with a situation in her university soccer , and my husband and I have been so troubled by how things are getting to the point of taking away her joy, and of course ours. Then yesterday she decided to confront the issue and come clean with all of her doubts, talked it out with the coach and figured out a way to move forward. All on her own. I am still so in awe of her, and thankful that maybe we laid a bit of a foundation there.
That is wonderful! Thanks for sharing this story, it gives me hope!
I enjoyed reading this post and am new to your blog (followed a link from JoLynn). My oldest (of 5) is 11 so I’m not yet dealing with some of the tween/teen issues, but one thing I have heard parents do that I thought I would pass along is this:
Turn it around on them. If your tween/teen is asking you “Why Can’t I!?” then ask *them* to be the parent and you be the child. Tell them to decide whether you can or cannot do it and provide reasons why or why not.
I hear this really works because once they are put into your shoes they “know” the reasons why – and have a chance to convince themselves of it without the automatic deflection – they no longer have to hold on to their position and prove they’re “right”. Now that I think of it this might work with spouses too. LOL!
Great post!
Great idea! Maybe I’ll try it on the hubby first… ha-ha!
Thanks for stopping by!
Yes I’ve taught for over 35 years and I believe reversing roles is quite overpowerng when workng with young children and it works with adults too. I’ved used it a lot with adults who are having problem with young doing chores and also teen age problems.
It was so good to see the illustration between you and your kids. We are doing this now with our soon to be 13 year old. It really is a challenge raising kids in this world and a lot of times we are the strictest parents in my sons group of friends. I tend to feel bad but then I realize that we are accountable of raising a fine Godly man and that is takes the strict but loving relationships from his parents.