We’ve been very close friends with a family for many years. They have several children, and when we first met them the kids were still pretty young. One of them was exceptionally precocious and full of life… this child had an amazing sense of humor, and the innocence and trust that only a small child can truly possess.
One day this child began to change and the sparkle in his eye disappeared. His teachers and parents began to worry and grew increasingly concerned as time went by. Why was this boy so unhappy… how come his sense of humor had gotten so dark and why did he seem so angry?
They continually asked him if he was okay and if anything had happened… but the young boy insisted nothing was the matter (though his actions weren’t in agreement with the words he spoke). His infectious high-pitched giggle was all but gone, and the care-free attitude a little boy should have had disappeared right along with his smile.
His mom told me he’d been in trouble at school for making a few inappropriate comments, and his teacher had let her know his demeanor had changed in class… she thought his actions were out of character and the worry now grew into full-blown gut-wrenching fear!
I sensed her anguish as she told me what was happening, and my own ‘mommy intuition’ had the hair on the nape of my neck standing straight up! It was no longer a question of… “what if?” it was… “what do we do?”
Soon the parents learned what had happened… they were devastated and heartbroken for their son… his innocence had been stolen… the security and trust he’d always held onto was gone… and there was no way to replace it.
They lovingly questioned him to see why he’d kept this secret… had they not taught him about these things… or was he too scared? What about the other children… had they been abused as well?
The mom shared with me how distressed they were, and how much guilt and anger they were dealing with. They wanted to yell and scream… and to find someone/anyone to blame… besides themselves!
How could they not have known? Why didn’t they do a better job taking care of him? What were they going to do now?
There were so many questions, and the answers were slow to come. What they learned (and still struggle with) is that this world is full of sin… lust, curiosity, and plain old selfishness had robbed them of something… something that has no actual monetary value… yet they’d pay any price to give back to their child.
The family still has many obstacles to overcome, but they have been… and will continue to take things one day at a time… they continue to hope and pray… for grace, forgiveness, and healing for all.
The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them;
he delivers them from all their troubles.
The LORD is close to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
A righteous man may have many troubles,
but the LORD delivers him from them all;
he protects all his bones,
not one of them will be broken.
Psalm 34:17-20
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It is impossible to convey the depth of feelings that arise when one’s child is abused. The damage lasts forever.
Oh Bridget! My heart started racing as I read this. One of my fears, beside abduction, is my children being abused. I cannot imagine the pain, confusion, guilt and anger. This is so devastating for everyone involved. That poor boy. My heart is breaking as you describe how the joy was robbed from his life.
I will be praying for them.
How heartbreakingly sad. Praying God is especially close to them as they grieve the loss of innocence and try to heal.
I am so sorry.
I pray to God every single day that my children will be protected from such things. And for myself as well if anything were to happen. Because if anyone lays a hand on my child, I will hunt them down…
These kinds of things definitely make me sad, but more angry. That someone would steal something so precious from a little child… It’s beyond words. God is big enough to bring incredible restoration through all this. I know of several with the testimony of living through abuse and then gaining a place of freedom in God. Not that it’s easy, but it is possible in Him. Blessings to this child and his family…
OMG. Really — God, why!? This is one thing I simply NOT understand. It makes me scared, afraid and angry. How can this happen to the least of these! I know God isn’t upset with my fears — for my own two boys.
I am SSSSOOO sorry and upset for your friends and for their precious boy. I cried reading this.. and I say a prayer for this boy and his family. That God will make up for whatever has been lost. But, I would never dare even breath those words to the parents who are in shock and grieving, I’m sure. What words can I say other than share the moment with them and pray for strength and wisdom to walk through those days.
lust
sin
it will take
ruin and destroy
and continue
to destroy
with anger
hate and fear
God please help us in our need
help us all to see your light
for sin pulls strong upon our hearts
in your mercy i beg your forgiveness
i pray for the children
all of the children
I was abused as a child and have written several posts referring to it. And I’ll admit that for YEARS, I wondered WHY. My missionary friend, Bonnie, helped me finally come to grips with it. She said that the abuse was NOT God’s plan for me, but when a sinful man chose (with his free will) to abuse me, that God was there crying. And that one day, that man will stand before My Jesus to answer for what he did. I don’t have to be angry or seek revenge, because the Lord is my Avenger. And I don’t have to live in fear and pain, because God is my Protector and my Healer…
My prayers and with this family. And I believe that God will be everything for them that He has been for me.
Heartwrenching, Bridget. We want to believe this is something that happens to someone else’s kids, but statistics tell us otherwise. Praying for all. So sorry.
What Sarah Salter said. My parents learned about my childhood loss of innocence last year. The only thing harder than going through recovery is seeing the pain of the “if only’s” and “why didn’t I see it” in their eyes. In particular, my Dad’s eyes. It can only be paralleled by the pain in my Heavenly Father’s eyes, who indeed was weeping all those years ago. Praying for that family. And thank you for posting this.
what a horrifc story, but so common all around the world, we must all work together to help these victims in anyway possible, to continue on with their lives and to regain their trust.
What Amy Sorrells said. Seriously, my Dad especially took it hard. If I had ever felt any anger against him for not protecting me, the look in his eyes dissolved it. (And in his defense, he and my mother did the best they could. They couldn’t have known what was going to happen at the hands of a church member/neighbor.)
Everyday, someone’s life changes forever – at someone else’s hands – and there is no longer tomorrow as it could’ve, should’ve been. There is only what is no more, what can never be. But, wait. Our God is bigger than that. Through Him, and because of Him, there is also a new purpose that only this precious, changed soul can fulfill. This child will change lives someday, with Jesus by his side. My fervent prayers are with this boy and his family to restore his trust and zest for living!
Something I will never understand. It just breaks my heart.
I wanted to thank each of you for stopping by and leaving such wonderful comments of support, understanding, concern and hope.
I’ve been asked if I may write about what has happened to the family since the abuse occurred, and it is something I’m considering in the future.
You guys are the best!