My intention for this post was to pick a word and write a post, then my kids were going to share a few thoughts on it as well. I thought it would be fun to have the contrasting perspectives.
The topic we chose is Hypocrisy. When I read what they wrote I was amazed. We talk about things pretty openly in our home, but I had no idea just how strongly they felt on this subject.
I’ve decided instead of posting my own feelings, I’m only going to post theirs. I won’t edit or make any changes… I want it to be in their exact words with all the emotion they put into it.
Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity. 1Timothy 4:12
My boy is 14 and loves to express himself by writing song lyrics. He’s usually very private and I’m honored and touched he chose to let me share these…
I can’t wait to to find out how we human’s are gonna screw up next time around, I can’t wait to know what the world will do to itself tomorrow, there’s been one too many hypocrites, and one too many liar’s, one too many people that will burn out my fire, there’s been one too few good Samaritan’s, and not enough people that want to love, so step out now good Samaritan’s, so step out now good people of our mighty God, and let’s fulfill what we’re called to do. Let’s show everyone the love of Christ, let’s show everyone what this world could be like! Let’s light some fire’s, and watch them shine forever! ~Andrew
My girl is 12 and I often like to say to her… “Tell me what you really think!” Once again, she doesn’t disappoint while sharing her feelings on hypocrisy…
People like to say they reach out to others, that they show their faith through their actions in their everyday lives. But do they where it really counts?
I have these two friends who are best friends themselves. One’s a Christian, the other isn’t. Neither go to church, and for the same reason.
They hate the judgment they get there. My friend who is a Christian says he doesn’t go to church because he doesn’t fit in, and he hates how all the people are segregated based on how they act.
People say I’m a Christian but I’m this kind. If you’re a Christian you’re a Christian, there’s no maybe’s, or halfways about it, so why separate everyone? He says who cares if you’re Baptist or Methodist, you’re a Christian and that’s it.
My other friend doesn’t go to church because every church he has ever gone to, he’s felt judged, and like he didn’t fit in. He says he’s just not the church type, but really, who is? I think the “church type” is anyone willing to take a leap of faith and go and listen.
So why is it no one reaches out to these people? Because they aren’t the sad, lonely kids who sit alone at lunch? Just because someone has friends doesn’t mean they shouldn’t be accepted.
Christians are supposed to be accepting of everyone, but only on their terms? I’ll accept you for who you are, but only at school or at work or here or there but not in church because you’re not like everyone else there. But God made everyone different, so why would we want everyone in HIS church to be the same?
People are too judgmental, and it ruins the idea of what Christianity is all about. Love and faith and acceptance, not judgment or exclusion or telling people how they should be. And I think it’s funny, that my Christian friend who doesn’t attend church, has a much deeper understanding of what faith is all about than people who go to church every Sunday for their whole lives.
When we judge others, you’re really only judging yourself. The things you see wrong in others is most likely what you hate most about yourself. Remember that next time you see someone new sitting next to you in church. ~Jillian
How many of us feel this same way… or worse yet… how many of us act this way and don’t even realize it? If you haven’t spoken to your kids about this because you don’t think they have an opinion.. you might want to think again!
{ 26 comments… read them below or add one }
I learned when my own children were teens that hypocrisy was the thing they were most sensitive to and the most acutely aware of, especially in the church. It’s as if the sense are sharpened at about age 12.If I brush away the cobwebs and think back to my own teenyears, the same was true for me.
andrew and jillian have some good points, and i like how they expressed them.
i hope that they guest post again sometime.
@Glynn I agree that they are really becoming aware now and the age probably has a lot to do with it. Thanks for the comment.
@nAncY Thank you. I’d love to have them write more often… they always teach me something I needed to learn!
It’s such a hard line to walk when it comes to kids. On one hand, you have the world telling them to do whatever they want, read whatever they want, see what movies they want, listen to any music they want, etc. and soak in the messages the world offers. Then you have the church where like it or not there are some things that are just wrong. We can’t compromise the Scriptures because the world says it’s not right. So if we don’t tell a teen who’s sleeping with her boyfriend it’s OK, we’re being judgmental hypocrites because there are Christians who do it.
You have to show love, you have to show compassion and concern to every kid at a church regardless of social status or friend count. Still, you have to stand on truth. When your daughter said “telling people how they should be” I cringed because that’s almost always what you hear from a person who doesn’t want to be held accountable for any action. A church should really be telling all of us how we should be…bring us the Scriptures and say we need to be like Jesus.
I really don’t know where the line is for dealing with kids regarding hypocrisy. Truth all around would likely be too much for some because they’d love you to admit your faults but wouldn’t want anyone to mention their faults.
Standing on truth is the key… you hit that right on the head, Jason. I also believe there is a line… and finding the right spot on where to draw it is crucial… and difficult. Thanks for these thoughts.
Loved that song and sounds like your daughter is very passionate- excellent. Hypocrisy is a hard one, and we all fall under that category at one point or another (to different degrees). His grace, though, is changing us…
Yes, thankfully… He (through his grace and mercy) is! My kids will be excited to read these comments later. Thanks, Jason.
Bridget, great post and sounds like great kids too!
My kids are still young, 2.5 years and 11 months old. So I don’t have much experience with talking about big issues like this, let alone have the results of my own hypocricy be displayed for their innocent eyes. It scares me in a good way, and reminds me how my actions are much more important than my words.
I have to remind myself of this exact thing constantly! I can tell them things until I am blue in the face… but my actions are what they will remember in the long run. Thanks, Ryan.
What great insight from your kids. It’s amazing how well young people see the real actions – hypocrisy that sometime we as adults tend to overlook or have accepted over the years. It sounds like they have a great grasp on what being a Christian ought to look like!
We do tend to become complacent as adults… to hear and see the passion in our youth is refreshing and energizing! Thanks for stopping by, Chuck.
I loved reading their perspective. We’ve had many a talk on this particular subject in our house. I have a relative who loves to say he doesn’t go to church because it’s full of hypocrites. Another relative likes to respond with, “Well, there is no place i’d rather see a sinner than church.”
There’s nothing like teenagers to get you thinking!
Precisely! They sure keep us on our toes… for so many reasons! I’m really enjoying these comments too. Thanks, Joyce.
I think I will just say WOW, Jillian and Andrew, hope you both stay passionate about the things you believe in. Andrew you need to share more of what you write
Wow. Lots to learn from your kids. They expressed themselves beautifully and honestly.
-FringeGirl
Thank you. They certainly don’t hold back! I’m glad you stopped by…
My daughter was hurt by a judgmental (versus kindly confrontational) junior high youth pastor. The flip side is that it made her more accepting of others. It’s risky to take off our masks.
Your children speak wisdom.
Thanks, Sandra. My kids were hurt at the last church we attended, and it certainly isn’t a rare instance (unfortunately). I pray that they will be able to use the experience to grow and show love to others that may feel alone.
Wow, your kids are wise beyond their years. Loved this! Hope they make a “guest appearance” again sometime!
Me too, Candy. They teach me things all the time, and I love their youthful and fresh perspectives!
one thing is certain: hypocrisy is a dangerous…dangerous thing.
@Laurie I agree… Andrew should share more because he has some great thoughts! Both kids are very passionate (who knew)
@Riss It sure is. They (and probably the rest of us) learned more than our fair share of that in recent years (ahem).
*ahem* indeed. (though i have no idea what the ahem is, i know what it’s for. i always was oblivious to that sort of thing. ~shrug~)
but i do know when what i’m seeing and what i’m hearing are two different things, and i’ve had to put myself in permanent check for what i’m saying and what i’m doing.
I am amazed but not surprised!
I’m both a hyprocrite and a liar. I said I would NOT read or comment on any blog posts this week (planned to take a much needed break) and here it is only Tuesday and I’m so busted.
Having a son who just turned 20, and who is very outspoken regarding his feelings about church, curiosity got the best of me. I just had to see what your kids had to say.
Both of their posts were passionate, insightful, and pure. It reminded me that our kids, although they are rapidly growing up, still are children. As such they have child-like characteristics that allow them to experience a unique faith yet the uncanny ability to also spot a “fake” a mile away.
I agree with another comment about the importance of “truth.” Many people will exchange it for a lay to avoid the change required for holy living. But when “truth” is spoken in love in an atmosphere charged with God’s Presence it is not critical or condemning.
We do all “play act” at times. My thanks to your kids for reminding me of several things:
1. I can’t really fool myself.
2. I don’t fool God.
I look forward to hearing more from both Andrew and Jillian in the future.
I’d especially love to be exposed to some more of Andrews lyrics. They have a certain “Keith Green” ring to them.
God bless!
Melinda I’m glad you decided to be a hypocrite this week… hehe
They sure do have a unique ability to see those ‘fakes’ that take adults a little longer to spot.
I can’t wait to have them read this comment… they’ve been excited to read what people think.
Thanks for your kind and wise words (I don’t fool God), Melinda.