Self-control (Blog Carnival)

Welcome to the One Word at a Time Blog Carnival on Self-control.

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April 20 – Self-control
May 4 – Joy

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One Word at a Time…Self-control

I wasn’t sure which direction to go for this carnival. There were a few things I considered, but on Friday I knew exactly what I needed to share, and the experience has changed me forever.

Self-control: the ability to exercise restraint or control over one’s feelings, emotions, reactions, etc.

Since I began subbing a few short weeks ago… God has been challenging and stretching me in many ways. From the unknown of where and IF I’ll be working on any given day, to sticking me in situations that are completely outside of my comfort zone.

Last Thursday a job opened up at a middle school as a Special Ed Staff Assistant. This is the same title as all the previous assignments I’ve accepted… which have included monitoring and assisting the behaviorally challenged kids, as well as learning support jobs.

As I walked into the office Friday morning, I wondered which type of class it would be. I arrived at room 104, and was told I’d be working one on one with a boy (let’s call him Smiley). The director said not to leave his side, and to make sure he didn’t stick anything in his mouth (yes, those were her exact words).

I’ll admit I found that a bit puzzling, and I was becoming increasingly curious as to how the day was going to play out.

Next, the kids arrived and started filing in. They were all shapes, colors, and sizes… some walking, some in wheelchairs… all afflicted with a severe disability.

One of the boys came in spinning around, arms flailing wildly. The director said “good morning Smiley,” and that’s when I realized he was my ‘assignment’ for the day… I admit, I was tempted to turn and run!

I was introduced to Smiley, and within seconds… my job began. He walked across the room, grabbed something off the floor, and instantly went for his mouth. This exact scenario played out innumerable times in my six hours with him, but after about fifteen minutes, Smiley had stolen my heart.

I’ve never witnessed anything like this before. He had absolutely no self-control when it came to putting things in his mouth. It was as if his mind was taken over once he got something into his hands… and he HAD to chew on it.

The day was spent physically prying things out of his clenched fingers, picking him up when he was refused to stand, and prying his body off of things like desks and chairs… after he’d clamped his mouth onto the edge of them like a vice-grip.

The most difficult (and heartwarming) part was how loving Smiley could be. This was another area where he had zero self-control. He hugged on me often… though if I let him get me around the neck, it took another adult to help unhook him. He was incredibly sweet… and incredibly strong!

With about an hour left of school, I wasn’t sure how I felt. I didn’t know if I’d want another job in this type of class, or if I’d done anything right. Smiley can’t speak, so I only had his amazing smile and infectious giggle to go by.

A few minutes later, one of the teachers walked over and asked if I’d please leave my information so they could call me for future subbing. She said I’d worked so well with Smiley, that they hoped I’d be willing to come back. At that moment the answer became clear, and I said yes.

Driving away from the school I burst into tears. They were tears of exhaustion, as well as gratefulness. It was a very long and difficult day, as well as one of the most incredible and blessed.

I’ll be in that same class today (Tue) working with another disabled child. The only thing I’m sure of is that she’ll teach me something. I learned more from a loving and smiley boy with little to no self-control (and an enormous heart) than I ever could have imagined.

He made me realize (without saying a word) how thankful I should be to have the ability to make my own choices, and that there are simply no excuses for my own lack of self-control.

In view of all this, make every effort to respond to God’s promises. Supplement your faith with a generous provision of moral excellence, and moral excellence with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with patient endurance, and patient endurance with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love for everyone. 2 Peter 1:5-7

Tagged as: Autism, Blessed, Blog Carnival, Self-control, Special Ed, Subbing